Phuket after dark

It’s 2:30pm on a perfect Phuket Sunday. The sun is shining and the sky is its usual three dimensional blue.

I should be on the beach writing from my laptop like I normally do – sprawled out on my towel in the shade of the palm trees, BUT – thanks to this weekends debauchery – I’m still horizontal in bed. If it weren’t for me writing this blog – the day would have been a complete write off.

I’ve been really good about my nocturnal habits since I’ve been here (which is now a month) as I’ve had other, non-vacation like priorities. So I haven’t been able to fully enjoy the free for all that is Phuket for most foreigners on the island. I started my English teaching course four days after I got here and have made sure my mind is well rested and fresh for school every morning.

WHAT A NERD!

Weekends, however, are a completely different story. I make up for some very lost time.

If i can – I make my way through to the Sunshine Bar in Rawai on Friday nights and proceed to enjoy the zestful performances and charm of the bar girls and ladyboys.

It is here – at this small little bar that overlooks the turquoise flat waters of Rawai that I find my true definition of the word hedonism. From the moment I get there, I enter a feverish frenzy of endless pleasure.

Where my heart could not have more fun if it tried. My soul could not laugh more if it tried – and my body couldn’t dance more if it tried.

My motive for making friday nights sunshine nights is for pure and unbridled fun.

To go and to laugh and to enjoy the island vibe with some good company and good music.

Patong on the other hand – is Saturday night’s stomping ground – and motives for heading there are less pure yet still unbridled.

Especially when there are 6000 US Navy Seals docked in Phuket for the week.

Think BUSES and BUSES of Thai prostitutes — literally.

And hard bodied blokes.

Thousands of them.

In uniforms.

Needless to say all of whom have spent God knows how long out at sea  with only a stack of girly mags (or the internet’s infinite supply of arousing assistance) to keep them company.

Poor fellas.

The thing about Phuket – from a single girl who is staying here indefinitely’s point of view, is that most of the guys here are on holiday and are here for a good time – not a long time, so a relationship is not a very practical ambition here on hedonism island.

Many of those holiday makers – and even the foreign men residing in Phuket, take the opportunity to fulfill the fantasy of satisfying their carnal urges with beautiful petite Thai girls.

A handleful of ladyboys you'll find in and around Patong.

A handleful of ladyboys you'll find in and around Patong.

Us western girls don’t stand a chance!

Not even with our big breasts, wide array of hair and eye colours and statuesque (in comparison) physiques.

So come Saturday night – Bangla Road is a meat market!

And it’s a full house: male; female; shemale; gay; lesbian; bi; eastern; western; northern; southern; the peasants; the prosperous; ping pong and prostitutes.

All of whom have a very generous variety of backdrops to form their holiday memories from.

There are rock bars, trance bars, house bars, auzzie bars, nightclubs, stripclubs and caberet shows just to name a few. It’s an endless carousel of crazy carnival like characters with their paraphernalia and animal sidekicks.

You can expect to see anything from iguana’s, monkeys and elephants sealing deals for shameless street peddlers.

The only missing ingredient of the status quo in the Bangla Road circus is a clown on stilts juggling a dozen apples and oranges.

But he could have come down the road while I was busy gagging as I tried to get my 7th shot of tequila down without throwing up.

Bangla Road and it's surrounding area is a labyrinth of bars and drinking spots.

Bangla Road and it's surrounding area is a labyrinth of bars and drinking spots.

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