Thailand Travel on ReviewTrip.com

WHAT A MISSION!!!!

Between the crazy man behind the wheel of the mini bus, and the crazy man behind the wheel of that boat we took to Burma – I was well glad we were on the home leg of the journey.

What a day!

First, we get to Port Ranong – which is possibly one of the smelliest places on this here planet, and stand in line to get ’stamped out’ of Thailand.

While we’re in the line, this Thai official is going through everyone’s passports.

“Everything’s fine,” I tell myself – “you always make your self nervous around authority – just chill- you haven’t done anything wrong”.

So I chill.

Until he has my passport in his hands and is telling me that I’m an overstay.

“No,” I say “it only expires tomorrow”.

Then he shows me my entry stamp and low and behold there it is – October 2nd!

This kind of thing – with permits expiring and me finding out via authority, ALWAYS happens to me.

Once in South Africa, I got pulled over by a cop, who asked to see my license. I gladly handed it to him, feeling all smug that I had done nothing wrong. He then asked me for my valid license, and I said “No, it only expires next year” .

Guess again… it had expired about 6 months before said incident.

I STILL haven’t got it renewed, and have been driving with it and been stopped twice here in Thailand with it, and it still seems to be pretty effective.

But that’s an entirely different story.

So – Mr Passport Police takes me through a door into the customs office where I am seated in front of a nice and friendly enough looking lady in Police uniform. It went pretty smoothly – I handed over my passport and 500BAHT, she stamped and signed, and off I went – back into the departures queue with the rest of my border run companions.

When it’s my turn, I step forward and give the man my passport. He stamps and signs what needs to be signed and stamped, and then he asks me to look into the camera positioned on his PC.

They had this at the airport when I arrived too.

What do they do with these pictures of us? What are they for?

I’ve never had that in any western country I’ve visited, so what’s up with the Asians and their infinitely expanding portrait collection?

Nevertheless, I pose for my mug shot and off I go, following the others to a long boat with weather shielding and a very noisy engine. The boat ride was my least favourite part of the trip – not that ANY part was my favourite. He was going so fast that everytime he turned the rudder the vessel felt like it was going to capsize.

Not what I needed considering the smell of the filthy fishing waters, and that I had my camera around my neck and my passport in my hand. I could handle me getting wet – but the other two HAVE to stay dry.

There was also a guy on the boat who was going round to all the men pushing his ‘ware’.

Cigarettes, whiskey and Viagra.

Apparently Viagra goes for about 500BAHT in Phuket – for one little blue pill.

In Burma – they sell 4 for 100BAHT.

The older guys were buying them, well, because they needed them….

and the younger guys were buying them, well, because they needed the cash – the profit they could make from selling a 25BAHT tablet for 500BAHT a pop – makes it well worth it.

After about half an hour of boat torture, we arrive at the port in Burma.

Again – stand in line, quick quick, stamp stamp and we’re back on the boat for the nervewracking half hour trip back to Thailand.

This time though – we stop at a checkpoint and 3 militant soldiers come barging into the boat and demand that we open our bags for them to search.

OH MY WORD! Even though you KNOW you have done nothing wrong, the very presence of the militia makes you fear for your life. Holding onto my 15cmx20cm little pink bag – all I could think was “WHAT IF SOMEONE PLANTED DRUGS IN MY BAG?!?!?”

Yeah – okay Paranoid Pete! Nevermind that you’ve been holding your bag the entire time – and you can barely fit your mobile phone and your passport inside that tiny excuse for a storage facility – nevermind any illegal substances.

But like I said – it’s the mere presence of this regimented division that make you quiver in your boots. Especially when Burma and Thailand are not getting along that well at present.

The guy who had by now secured the male medication supply must know the drill because he waited until after the Militia were off the boat and we were puttering along to hand out their purchases from within a concealed cigarette carton.

Once we get back to Thailand – it’s back into the arrivals queue… stamp stamp – smile for the camera and off we go, back onto the minibus for the trip home. Five hours later we arrive back in friendly Phuket and I have never been as enthusiastic about taking a shower and washing Burma and that boat off my body.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 4th, 2009 at 9:45 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.